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I just completed part two of the Sanskrit exam. I did well overall between the two parts but I must say, I did better with part one. Part two I struggled. I could have done better.

I should have taken advantage of a 10 minute break but figured that since everyone else in the class wanted to go ahead and keep going since we were done with part one, that could push myself to do it too. I didn’t want to be the one that took a break when everyone else didn’t. Next time I will!

I made some careless mistakes I believe, partly due to lack of adequate sleep and partly due to the nature of the content. I tend to be harder on myself around exams because I feel smarter than I am, but my grades don’t always express it.

I’m a numbers kind of gal, regarding scores and comparing, and yet I’ve rarely been an A student, regardless of my efforts. It seems as though “my brain doesn’t work that way”, others have the ability to study and retain a lot in a short period of time. I’m more like slow and steady and repetition, repetition, repetition and years kind of person, it seems.

Sometimes my mild dyslexia affects me and I mix information. I have to keep figuring out techniques that work but you would think that at this stage in the game of my life I would have figured it out. Then add in the element that each school/program/system has its own language that must be figured out. Then, by the time it’s totally figured out you’re done with the program, or at least I am.

This has been lifelong for me. I am glad that I decided to separate the parts by day because that works better for me than one long exam. I tend to get more tensed up the longer the exam, and I feel it in my body. My brain gets to be all frazzled. Study, study, study.

All this is helping me to know more than I did before even if I don’t seem to have it all like others may get it, based on my self-judgment and criticism. Sometimes, there’s only so much studying I can do before I shut down and get overwhelmed so I break it up when I can, to prevent this.

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